i might regret this

there's a good chance i might take this down before it can see the light of day...literally. the following is a series of thoughts that occured to me on my way down to chicago last weekend. thank god for the memopad function on my phone. anyway, it's all fun & games for the most part here but i thought i'd switch it up every once in a while. we'll see whether or not this will happen again. without further adieu, my thoughts:

the car's speed is set at 79 miles per hour. i'm sitting shotgun at a standstill. michigan to chicago. a mini-midwest roadtrip i've been on too many times to remember.

i've been around for two decades -- too little to know anything but too long to be surprised by much. i read somewhere that david foster wallace also had an early midlife crisis at age 20, which doesn't exactly bode well for me now does it? both in this world & this car, i'm just a passenger along for the ride. how many times have we heard the cliched "don't let life pass you by" slogan? however, in these messy times, what am i supposed to do? what am i going to do? the only thing i know: observe. think. write. reflect.

is it possible to be equally discouraged & inspired by the state of the world? can the glass be both half full & empty at the same time? all my life i've been discouraged by the endless hoops to jump through, the bullshit bureaucracy, walls taller than jericho. but today, i feel up to the challenges. maybe it's the fact that it's march 6th & 61 degrees in the midwest. maybe it's the blue sky. maybe i'm just tired of being tired.

the old way of doing things is over. the dinosaurs are dead. the world is broken and i want to pick up the pieces.

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annnnnnd that's it. like i said, i wrote the thing in a blackberry memo. obviously, it's not pulitzer winning material but if i don't start putting out my real writing soon, i never will. this is just a start.